Change Your Life Now
Powerful Self-Evaluation and the Magic that follows
What is Change?
Change is an act or process through which something becomes different.
Change is the way of life. Our universe is in constant movement. We cannot resist it. Change will always happen. Unasked for, fast and unexpected. Often it hurts, uproots, and leaves us in shock. No wonder then, it seems so difficult to change on a personal level.
Why we want to change?
The challenges of this modern world are without end. It has been said, that we live in a world today where external change is going faster than the human ability to change! The way we organize our families. The way we take care of our bodies. The way we take care of our planet. The work-life balance. The never-ending stresses. The challenge of technology. The lack of love and connection. Feelings of being unfulfilled. Dreams and visions that seem so far off. The trip you want to take and never manage to. The latest diet and exercise regime you want to go on. The relationships you want to mend. The freedom you want to achieve.
When you evaluate your life and where you stand right now, do you want to do a little more of that and a little less of that? Are you desperate, because you still have not managed to do X, Y or Z? Do you desire to transform and re-invent yourself, but you don’t know how where to start? Are you unhappy with yourself and want to change certain aspects of your life? Then you are not alone! We all have these things, that we will do some day. We all struggle and fail, again and again.
How can we change?
To be successful in changing your habits and behaviors, I invite you to go deep in your self-evaluation of who you really are. Only when you really know yourself and your values in life, can you sustainably change. Ask yourself, what do you really care about? What are your values? What works in your life and what doesn’t? Look for a new perspective on your life. Go deeper in finding the truth of the statements about your life, that you make all the time. Your believe systems. And then go and change the story you tell yourself! This is the process of creating a Holistic Life Vision.
Here are a few examples:
Original statements → The deeper Truth
- “I want to have more money, but I don’t have the education to get a better job.” → There are many places that offer good education for minimum fees. Maybe your current job can subsidize your further education. When you look for them, there are many opportunities for everybody who is willing. You can take the effort of learning something new, believe in yourself and get a better job.
- “I want to lose weight, but I cannot because that’s just the way I am, I have the fat genes.” → You realize you are the way you tell yourself you are. When you let go of all the reasons your body wants to stay fat, you can work together with your body and become slim, no matter your genes. Cells react to their environment, aka our thoughts. It may sound controversial, but the same way you think yourself fat, you can think yourself slim! A lot of subconscious uncovering is required. The right mindset will put you on the path of right behavior, without a new mindset you are stuck in your old story and behavior.
- “I want to stop screaming at my kids, but they drive me crazy all the time.” → You become conscious of why your kids can trigger you so much and you start working on your own issues that raise from this inner investigation. You move the focus away from your kids’ behavior to your own behavior and you finally grow up and stay calm because you leave your kids be kids and the people they are. Letting go of the desire to change them and instead embracing the desire to change and better yourself.
- “I want to eat healthy, but it is too expensive.” → You can investigate many low budget options for eating healthy. You can choose to invest the money you have into live organic foods instead of buying packaged and junk foods that are seemingly inexpensive but because they make you sick the price you pay will be much higher than just money.
Of course, these examples over-simplify the process of self-evaluation and doing the proper research. In my courses and coachings, I guide people slowly through these revelations processes, allowing the new believes to take root, and enabling them to take their life into their own hands again.
Maybe you discover that you are unhappy even though you lack nothing? Maybe you feel like your life has no meaning, no impact, and you are desperate because you don’t know what to do? All you really want is to be free and to feel good about yourself? Instead you feel like you are not good enough to achieve any of your dreams. You are annoyed about certain areas of your life and you want to change your habits, your relationships, your thinking, or the way you feel and behave. You only keep yourself above the water because, tomorrow, tomorrow you will change. Just tomorrow never comes, doesn’t it? When you are desperate and full of self-doubt because of repeated failed attempts to change, you lost trust in yourself. You think you aren’t capable of change. You feel useless, unworthy, or just not good enough. You know you need to change. But the fear of the unknown holds you back!
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
– Nelson Mandela
Believe me, I know this just too well. I was the master of procrastination. Not anymore. Because I realized the unconscious believes that sabotaged my conscious desire to change! I went deep into my pain and there found the reason and motivation to change myself, by developing the necessary self-discipline to do so.
And it’s okay to feel afraid. I believe if you don’t feel a certain amount of fear, what you attempt is not real change. So just go with it. I have many ideas for you how you can be successful in changing your life for the better! Just read on.
With a desperate enough desire to change, you are well equipped to overcome procrastination. Even if until now, tomorrow - the day you will finally change - never came. When the want becomes a need through deep self-discovery, we are ready to step into a new reality! It is easy to find endless excuses to just wait another day, and another. It is easy to feel sorry about yourself and blame some outer circumstances for your behavior. It is not so easy to turn things around. Because for some strange reason all this excuse finding, and self-victimization gives you some sort of satisfaction.
This satisfaction comes from the winning Ego. This Ego that whispers into your ear, that things are good they way they are. That you will feel most comfortable if you just go on the way you have. And fill the void of your soul with meaningless activities or substances that help you forget your true desires - at least for a moment. Because it is mostly exactly these things that you want to change in the first place, right? Remember, the Ego confirms your fear of the unknown and prefers to stay in the known, no matter how shitty that is! The number one human driver is to keep things the same, to stay in our comfort zone!
But this underlying feeling of being useless, unworthy, or just not good enough will just not go away. Of course it won’t!
“I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”
– Fannie Lou Hammer
Often we have to hit rock bottom to find the strength in ourselves to make the necessary changes to live a better life. In any case we need to become completely honest with ourselves and dare to look deep into our inner world. Only by knowing yourself – by making the unconscious conscious – can you sustainable change yourself. Because you will finally muster the motivation to keep the required self-discipline up and consistent.
I used to be in a perpetual inner war against myself, that I had no chance of winning. Consciously I’d wanted to change, but until I examined my unconscious desires, this change wasn’t possible. I struggled with many things. There was substance abuse, a lot of time wasted in front of the TV, a laziness that always led me to eat the most quickly available foods, many excuses why I couldn’t exercise, hurtful behavior towards people I love, and the one or other thing more. Bottom line is, my life was not aligned with my soul's desires and I was unhappy.
Like when I prefer to chill out in front of the TV, how then could I get this strong and fit body I desire so much? Oh yes, I felt guilty about my own behavior. I felt sorry for myself. I blamed my circumstances for my behavior rather than taking my life in my own hands. I justified my behavior with statements like: “I have to work hard all day, so I deserve to chill-out a few hours in the evening! “ (what is more true: yes sure, if you believe this, you also deserve to be fat and unhealthy! With Love your Better Self...)
I was ruled by the eternal arrogance of my ego. Like if I couldn't feel bad about myself I couldn't feel good! It seemed as if the anxiety compelled me to always worry. To never be content. To be in a state of perpetual stress. Only when I learnt to be in, and act from, my Heart - my thoughts would calm down. My Ego would finally shut up and I existed only in the perfect present moment – learning to be with what is. Thus the basic principle of Love. Read my Article about it, if you haven’t done so already.
The evaluation of my inner world, what can also be called the subconscious – all the parts of ourselves that have been hidden due to past conditioning – brought up difficult questions. Can it really be that part of myself likes to feel unworthy and useless? Incapable and just not good enough? Where does this voice come from telling me that I will never make it? That to be healthy/slim/rich/successful/loved/appreciated/happy/free/... just is not for me? In fact, I realized that the underlying driver for all my bad behavior was a desire to be dead! I didn’t want to do anything, not feel anything, just forget everything. At one level, I'd despised my life so much!!!! These kind of believe systems allowed me to remain in the vicious circles of self-sabotage. Through failing in my desire to change, I could confirm my underlying believes of not being good enough/life is hard/etc.
With much love and deep inner investigation, I realized this is just what I am used to! What I’ve been told. What I had to tell myself to survive! This makes sense in so far that I had to indulge in hurtful behavior to cope with a life I didn’t appreciate. A life where my true self wasn’t allowed to express itself and thus I got depressed. Simple really. If you think about it this way, isn’t it?
My behavior confirmed the unconscious believe that I am not good enough and allowed me to continue to hide the parts of myself that might be challenging to the status quo of current society. Parts full of passion and creativity. Personal Power that I'd dare to unleash to the world.
Things got better once I changed my story. I learned to be self-responsible, accept myself fully, and started a daily practice of gratitude and other mind and body cleansing practices. With the basis of love and understanding for my own being, my process, the knowledge of my true purpose, my reason for doing what I am doing, I was able to stick to my new routines. Strengthening my Heart and how I think about myself. Slowly, I was able to build up on this new sentiment about life, with many new positive and empowering behaviors. Like allowing me to enjoy my life and feel all the happiness and the sadness too. To Be My Self.
Now I know, I am good enough. My true self, all the parts I had to hide, are my best parts and I am so much better for it 😀 And I don’t let myself be threatened anymore by voices in my head! I AM ENOUGH. I AM OKAY THE WAY I AM. This is my truth and I vow it can be yours too!
You cannot change who you are.
But you can very well change what you do, think and feel!
If you feel inspired by my story and feel ready to embark on the powerful life-affirming journey of personal transformation, let’s plant the first seeds right now!
Here are some powerful practices that support this journey of uncovering your true self and living the life you truly want.
- Conscious Breathing - Simple, deep, breathing centers you in your heart and allows you to react from a different state than the busy day-to-day self. It is the foundation for all transformation and consciousness work. Without the ability to still yourself with breath, any other technique is difficult. So if you do one thing for now: start conscious breathing!
- Gratitude - helps you to move the focus to all the Blessings in your Life. There are many ways to do this, the important thing is that you do it regularly. Say it as a prayer before going to sleep, make it part of your morning meditation, write in your journal, use prayer beads, light a candle – anything is fine. Just be THANKFUL for all that you have in your life, and more will follow!
- Self-love. Change from a desire to better yourself, rather than changing yourself because you’re unhappy with yourself/ hate yourself the way you are! All self-improvement projects are rooted in a lack of love and self-hatred! They are born of your belief that you are not good enough. Sustainable change happens from a deep place within your heart, where you love and accept yourself the way you are – now! Knowing yourself helps, because you will be able to forgive yourself through the understanding you gain about yourself. And from there you can learn to take the good decisions.
- Embracing a Daily Practice helps you Build Character. Character that you need to muster the Self-Discipline required to change your behavior on all levels. You can imagine it as parenting yourself or being your own best friend. Somebody who lovingly makes you do the things that you don’t feel like doing, but you know are good for you.
- Develop an Observer-Self to change your perspective on what is really true in your life. Review your believes about life and yourself. Review your day and your behavior in difficult situations. Imagine how you could have behaved differently and truer to yourself. Be especially aware of negative thinking and negative Self-Talk!
- Plan. Plan, your next day, your week, your year and the future. Getting organized in your life will make you so much more successful and content. Don’t forget your “Did-it” list and celebrate with a relaxing activity after every successful day where you stuck to your new life plan.
- Set specific goals. Don’t be vague in what you want to achieve, be specific. And be realistic. But don’t go after disconnected, individual goals. Make all your goals part of your Holistic Life Vision, by knowing what you truly desire in Your Life.
Gradually, such mental hygiene training will enable you to have better discipline when it comes to matters of your body, behavior, or whatever area in your life you desire to change.
Some changes can be sudden, other changes are happening slowly and in little steps only. Maybe you fall back into your old behavior a couple of times and have to reinforce your commitment. All ways of change have value, what is appropriate is mostly circumstantial. It is hardly a good idea to change everything at once and baby steps are okay. There are situations that to require very urgent change. Usually, it is better to go slow and steady, than do a radical change that you cannot sustain in your life. But you have to know:
To change is simply a decision. It can be taken at any time!
You can wish to change forever. You will always wish to change.
Did you know, FORGIVENESS is a foundation pillar
of Spiritual Awakening?
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